I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
