The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
