yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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