like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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