Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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