I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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