Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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