Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
