you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
