Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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