real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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