I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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