Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize