ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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