You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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