Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
