yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
