I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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