dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i think my cat just said my name.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
