You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
