It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize