that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
