frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
