What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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