she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
