did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
