Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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