I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
