So drunk its hurt
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
