If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
