i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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