there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
