..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
