I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
