why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
