Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
After tacos, we're chasing women.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
