white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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