chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Hippo gnu deer
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
