Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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