you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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