There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
