so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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