8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I did not marry a roomba.
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