one two three fourrrrnication!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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