you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize