Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
