I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize