distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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