Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She said her name was "party"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
