Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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