Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
