It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
