you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
