what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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