she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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